I tackled the mess in the girls' room this morning. Tan Van has five (5!) garbage bags of "stuff" in it now waiting to be dropped off at Goodwill. Zoe tore every card in her Elmo UNO game into tiny little pieces and placed them (creatively) around the room. She also managed to sneak a graham cracker upstairs and crumble it into her sister's bed. That would explain the late night cries of "I ITCH! Mom! I ITCH!" Victoria has made a hobby of removing all of the shoe strings from her shoes and tying them together with toys and paper and lots of knots. She has the cutest pants on today. They have little draw strings all over them. She just tied her own knees together. In a knot. I offered to cut the bottoms of the legs of her pants off with scissors. She elected to sit down on the floor and resume watching her show.
The vent is still blocked. I've reached the limit of what I can do. It's going to take professional help. Which can't come until the kitchen sink is put back together and working. I can't have too many plumbers and ac guys around here. Wouldn't look good.
I put locks on the doors. Lots of locks. Locking out....locking in....locking so I can use the bathroom without wondering why I hear Zoe's little voice coming from the basement, where she is most likely attempting to bathe in the dehumidifier water. Zoe will only be home with me for another three years and two weeks. Then she's off to Kindergarten.
I am not engaging my children in mind developing or social activities today. They are watching Scooby Doo. With commercials. Quick call the police.
BAD MOM! BAD. BAD. MOM.
I am taking a break from putting away laundry and realizing that I have to go to the grocery store. We are out of parmesan cheese and the good kind of bread and anti-cholesterol butter (because even if it tastes like butter, it can still lower your cholesterol). The grocery getting trip can't wait another day. Whatever. Break is over.
But there's one more thing. Being a stay at home mom is hard. The pay isn't great. The respect isn't great. I like stay at home moms. There's absolutely no competition for perfection. None of us can do it. No matter what. It can not be done. So I vote we give up. In a few years, I'll probably go back to work. Maybe I'll have a job I'm good at. This....I kind of suck at. But it beats sticking my kids in the day time orphanage and trying to pretend like I don't have them so I can get a promotion. In the spirit of total and complete failure, I officially declare today "Give Up And Order Pizza Day." or "Give Up And Cook A Frozen Pizza Day."
Pizza. It's what's for dinner.