This morning, there were five teary outbursts before breakfast. None of them were mine. Victoria heard me tell Zoe that he shoes were very fancy. Tears. Zoe thought Tori was taunting her for eating her bagel slower than a three year old (she's four.) Tears. Tori thought the bagel had chocolate chips in it. They were raisins. Tears. Zoe wanted "Puny Tails" like Tori, but a preschool graduation cap won't fit over pony tails, no matter how puny. Tears. And so it goes. Tonight, the hot debate was over two identical stuffed dogs. Which dog goes with which child? Zoe thinks she got the wrong dog. She doesn't feel used to it. Tori refuses to trade because the dog she has seems so familiar. Arguments ensue. A book is thrown from the top bunk. Tears. Then sleep.
Later, while pondering the very important if not slightly hysterical outbursts of my mini-me's, I realized that everything is such a big deal when you are new. And they just got here. Their mother isn't exactly a shining example of calm contemplation. I almost got fired once for my big mouth. Well, technically I've almost been fired a lot for my big mouth, but this one time it was just once. Makes sense to me. Anyway this particular day, I was winning at work. I strolled in, sat in my cubicle, and proceeded to feel superior for the entire morning. Then my boss called me into her office. I mentally agreed that congratulations were in order. Then she began to address my dress. Apparently, there was great controversy on the floor (by the chubby angry crowd) as to whether the length of my dress reached past the tips of my fingers when standing up. It did.
Boss: Your dress is too short.
Me (back in my twenties): No it isn't.
Boss: Stand Up
Me: No. My dress is fine.
Boss. We have a dress code. Succeeding here doesn't make you exempt from that dress code.
Me (standing up): The dress isn't too short. See? The legs are too long. Sorry that pisses you off.
Me (walking out and slamming the door.)
Ah, the good old days. My heart still beats fast when I think of the injustice. And so it goes. My passionate children will wake in a few hours and take on the world, and each other. May they learn to live in peace, soon. So they can teach it to me.