My ninth grade son, Mr. B, is currently nose-deep in freshman language arts. His teacher has a degree in Shakespeare and a minor in hating-on-teenage-boys.
Yesterday, the B-Meister announced that he had to MeMoRiZe a passage from Shakespeare, and although the assignment was given out at the beginning of the semester, he was supposed to do it yesterday. He begged the teacher to grant him an extra day. Which when combined with his current D- grade and loosely translated, means I HAD TO MEMORIZE SHAKESPEARE, while hollering at him about how yes, It's Dumb, and yes, His Teacher Is Lucifer's Bride, but if he doesn't want to live in a trailer with no windows that backs up to a river, reading old biker magazines from the eighties by the light of the candle he fashioned from his own ear wax, he'd BETTER PASS THIS CLASS.
45Tut, man, one fire burns out another's burning,
46One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish;
47Turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning;
48One desperate grief cures with another's languish:
49Take thou some new infection to thy eye,
50And the rank poison of the old will die.
I hope his pain was lessened by my anguish.
He says he pulled it off.