Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Tut, Man!

That's shakespeare. I hate him. Hate! Him!
My ninth grade son, Mr. B, is currently nose-deep in freshman language arts. His teacher has a degree in Shakespeare and a minor in hating-on-teenage-boys.
Yesterday, the B-Meister announced that he had to MeMoRiZe a passage from Shakespeare, and although the assignment was given out at the beginning of the semester, he was supposed to do it yesterday. He begged the teacher to grant him an extra day. Which when combined with his current D- grade and loosely translated, means I HAD TO MEMORIZE SHAKESPEARE, while hollering at him about how yes, It's Dumb, and yes, His Teacher Is Lucifer's Bride, but if he doesn't want to live in a trailer with no windows that backs up to a river, reading old biker magazines from the eighties by the light of the candle he fashioned from his own ear wax, he'd BETTER PASS THIS CLASS.
Tut, Man.

45 Tut, man, one fire burns out another's burning,
46 One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish;
47 Turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning;
48 One desperate grief cures with another's languish:
49 Take thou some new infection to thy eye,
50 And the rank poison of the old will die.

I hope his pain was lessened by my anguish.
He says he pulled it off.
We'll see....

Monday, May 9, 2011

What's cookin?

Beer Bread. Because it's still cold. In May.

Mix it up in the non-stick bread pan.
Realize that you are not Lazy. But rather, Resourceful.

3 cups SIFTED self-rising flour
3 tablespoons sugar
1 bottle beer (not lite beer.)

Pour 3-4 tablespoons of butter over the top and bake in a 350 degree oven for an hour.
Let cool 15 minutes. In my house, that means you'll have to guard/hide it.

Your house will smell like you can bake. Even if you can't.
Add dill to the batter and make yourself a cucumber sandwich with veggie cream cheese. If your kids figure out what you are eating, you will have to lock yourself in a closet. It tastes just as good in there. And you won't have to share.

Oh. Good Lord.

I "took the day off!" Today.
Lotta good it did me....
I began the day by lecturing number one son on the merits of attending and participating in the ninth grade. I continued it with a spat involving my husband and our persistent inability to communicate where the business of running this house is concerned. Zoe wore flip flops to school on a field trip day. Tori packed her own lunch: juice box, peanut butter sandwich, cereal, tiny yogurt. Fruit??? Can I get a fruit?? Apparently, not.
It's hailing.
I was going to paint my Adirondack chairs and kill the invasive species in my front garden today!
Well, I cut up the seed potatoes anyway. The sugar snap peas are up and the asparagus plants are in. Progress....slow....
The brick house is very slowly keeping up with our ever growing family. By growing, I don't mean in numbers, but rather in height and weight. Know what else is growing? The grocery bill. I guess kids don't eat less as they get older. I bought 18 pounds of fruit and 12 pounds of meat on Saturday. It'll be gone by Friday.
Grow Garden! GROW!
That's all.